Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
