Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
