Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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