umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
