She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
