the condom got lost in my hair
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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