I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize