So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
