So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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