doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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