What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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