There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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