Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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