like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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