Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
