tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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