I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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