dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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