That's intense
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
