I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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