You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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