I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
