she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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