Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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