I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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