you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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