oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
