oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
