Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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