in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
