i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it because I queefed?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
