Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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