you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Four minutes until I can fart!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
