Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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