Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
