That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
