The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
