He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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