Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?

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(808): View more from Hawaii

and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

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(805): View more from California

An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.

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(802): View more from Vermont

She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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(727): View more from Florida

they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were

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(718): View more from New York

Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(

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