dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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