sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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