Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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