I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
