I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
