I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
