yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
