i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
