my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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