I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
