well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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