just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
