Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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