Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
