really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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