we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
