Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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