i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
