i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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