I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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